A few months ago, I was talked into joining facebook for work. I did it because I'm a "team player" and because I really couldn't say no. I joined with the help of a colleague then immediately added the app to my phone. Once the app was on my phone I never used it on the computer - ever. I actually forgot what email account I used, and lets not even talk about possible passwords. But it really didn't matter because my phone did everything I need facebook for: mainly following friends. I was happy with my account for awhile because I was under a false name. I really didn't want people to "find me" - that was the whole reason I deleted my myspace account in the first place. A few people knew my pseudonym and we became friends. . .or is it faced? The lingo is still completely lost on me. . .But recently something horrible happened - more people found me! Or maybe I should say that the wrong people found me. And I am still not entire sure how that could happen because I couldn't even find me! Then a second horrible thing happened - my phone got funky because of the app. Aparently people with the facebook app have a hard time "backing up" their iphone. And since I was having the same problems with my phone that other people with the app reported having I decided it was a good time (excuse) to get rid of facebook completely.
So let me take a moment to tell my friends that I still love you. . .I just can't face you anymore. Maybe we can tweet. . .
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Smells Like Teen Spirit
Ok, not really. . .
We all have those scents that when they waft into our life unexpectedly, they remind us of something. Like the smell of a certain perfume. . .or the smell of cotton candy. . .or a dog kennel. . .These are scents that when you smell them can immediately take you back to another place and time. I had one of those unexpected scents come up today and it got me thinking...
I was visiting my mom for reasons that I cannot say here, and was surprised to see a package from my grandma sitting there. The package wasn't for me, it was for Abby. It wasn't addressed to Abby, but what was inside it was for her. Grandma had sent some material to my mom so that she could make shirts for Abby. As soon as I opened the package, I pulled out the material and smelled it. I did this completely without thinking about it - it was pure reflex. And the material smelled exactly like my grandma. I couldn't stop myself from smelling each and every piece of material in the box. They all smelled like her. It was the perfect smell, the smell of home. I wanted so badly to take that box home and bury my head in for the night. But I didn't want my mom to think I was a lunatic, so I carefully placed everything back.
Grandma's smell isn't something I experience very often because she lives so far away. There was a time when I was younger when I saw her more, but life has gotten in the way of family visits. It is sad that I live so far away, especially now that they are getting older, and I am finally old enough to appreciate them properly. I had an interesting childhood (like most people these days). The family that I spent most of my time with wasn't my family - they were a combination of friends and the family of friends. And while I enjoyed their company, it was never the same as when I spent time with my bio-family. The place where you are always accepted regardless of what you have done or who you did it with. Where you can be scolded for something one minute and laughing the next. Where you yell and scream, slam doors and throw things, yet still be welcomed back time and time again. Your safe haven from the outside world.
Like I said, I had an interesting childhood. Some good, some bad. Somethings I never want to relive and somethings I would love to do again. And while my family was never perfect, they always loved me. And grandma was one of those people who "loved me best." Not that she loved me more then my cousins, but that she knew how to love me in ways that other people couldn't/wouldn't. She was always ready for a hug and always quick to dole out "I love you." She seemed to understand me in ways that other people never did. And the smell of her tonight brought back all those feelings of love and contentment and peace that I haven't really felt since I was a child.
I'm lucky that my grandma is still around and that she is healthy. Sometimes I joke about her being too healthy because she is already so ornery I couldn't imagine how ornery she would be at 90! But grandma is an amazing lady and I love her to pieces. My life would be immeasurably different if I had another grandma. And for good and bad, she had a huge part in who I am today.
We all have those scents that when they waft into our life unexpectedly, they remind us of something. Like the smell of a certain perfume. . .or the smell of cotton candy. . .or a dog kennel. . .These are scents that when you smell them can immediately take you back to another place and time. I had one of those unexpected scents come up today and it got me thinking...
I was visiting my mom for reasons that I cannot say here, and was surprised to see a package from my grandma sitting there. The package wasn't for me, it was for Abby. It wasn't addressed to Abby, but what was inside it was for her. Grandma had sent some material to my mom so that she could make shirts for Abby. As soon as I opened the package, I pulled out the material and smelled it. I did this completely without thinking about it - it was pure reflex. And the material smelled exactly like my grandma. I couldn't stop myself from smelling each and every piece of material in the box. They all smelled like her. It was the perfect smell, the smell of home. I wanted so badly to take that box home and bury my head in for the night. But I didn't want my mom to think I was a lunatic, so I carefully placed everything back.
Grandma's smell isn't something I experience very often because she lives so far away. There was a time when I was younger when I saw her more, but life has gotten in the way of family visits. It is sad that I live so far away, especially now that they are getting older, and I am finally old enough to appreciate them properly. I had an interesting childhood (like most people these days). The family that I spent most of my time with wasn't my family - they were a combination of friends and the family of friends. And while I enjoyed their company, it was never the same as when I spent time with my bio-family. The place where you are always accepted regardless of what you have done or who you did it with. Where you can be scolded for something one minute and laughing the next. Where you yell and scream, slam doors and throw things, yet still be welcomed back time and time again. Your safe haven from the outside world.
Like I said, I had an interesting childhood. Some good, some bad. Somethings I never want to relive and somethings I would love to do again. And while my family was never perfect, they always loved me. And grandma was one of those people who "loved me best." Not that she loved me more then my cousins, but that she knew how to love me in ways that other people couldn't/wouldn't. She was always ready for a hug and always quick to dole out "I love you." She seemed to understand me in ways that other people never did. And the smell of her tonight brought back all those feelings of love and contentment and peace that I haven't really felt since I was a child.
I'm lucky that my grandma is still around and that she is healthy. Sometimes I joke about her being too healthy because she is already so ornery I couldn't imagine how ornery she would be at 90! But grandma is an amazing lady and I love her to pieces. My life would be immeasurably different if I had another grandma. And for good and bad, she had a huge part in who I am today.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Life Is Not Fair
As I get older I become increasingly aware of the unmistakable fact that Life Isn't Fair. Everyday I see evidence of this from the simple things like the amount of food we (Americans) throw away in any given day compared to the countless people starving to death every day; to the people who die in accidents caused by drunk drivers when the drunk driver himself walks away. It often makes me wonder what our dogs think about fairness.
For those people with only one dog, this thought probably never comes up. Or, if it does, it is easily answered in some non-anthropomorphized way: "Dogs don't think about fairness. They think 'Me Me Me!'" But, as a person living with a (sometimes changing) pack, I see the look on one dog's face as another one gets something that he/she doesn't. This is especially obvious when treats are dolled out. I have a very specific way that I hand out treats so that no one gives me "the look". The one that screams "NO FAIR!" Even though I always hand out the same number of treats to each dog, if they aren't passed around quickly enough and one finishes chewing before another one even gets the treat, the look gets shot my direction. The thought process of "oh I got a treat" is forgotten quickly when the thought of "she got a treat" starts.
There are sometimes however when the dogs know that everyone got their designated allotment. Dinner time is one of these times. They all know that they are going to get dinner and (usually) wait patiently for their own bowl to be placed in front of them. Once their bowl is finished, they often exchange bowls to see if anyone left anything behind. But never once have I gotten the look "I didn't get my fair share." Another one of these instances is the bed time kiss routine. Every night before we go to bed, I kiss each kid on the top of the head. I'm not sure when this started, but it's been going on long enough to be part of that un-breakable bedtime routine. Each dog knows that they are going to get a kiss good night and will wait for their turn once I start. No one ever jumps up and pushes another out of the way. No one waits for an "extra" kiss either. Everyone gets one and everyone knows that.
So, the question is: why are somethings a matter of routine and some things become a matter of "fairness". Why haven't the dogs figured out that everyone gets ONE treat when they have figured out that everyone gets ONE bowl. Is there something that I could do as a trainer, handler, dog-mom could do to make it seem more "fair." I know that dog's brains are not as advanced as ours, but I do think that they are more advanced then many people give them credit for. If everyone has figured out that you get one bananna chip before bed, why can't they figure out that everyone gets ONE chewie? Why do they wander around trying to steal each other's? They are ALL THE SAME.
But maybe the dog's don't actually give me that look. Maybe it is just me trying to make everything seem fair. Maybe they don't want extra, maybe they just want more. . .
For those people with only one dog, this thought probably never comes up. Or, if it does, it is easily answered in some non-anthropomorphized way: "Dogs don't think about fairness. They think 'Me Me Me!'" But, as a person living with a (sometimes changing) pack, I see the look on one dog's face as another one gets something that he/she doesn't. This is especially obvious when treats are dolled out. I have a very specific way that I hand out treats so that no one gives me "the look". The one that screams "NO FAIR!" Even though I always hand out the same number of treats to each dog, if they aren't passed around quickly enough and one finishes chewing before another one even gets the treat, the look gets shot my direction. The thought process of "oh I got a treat" is forgotten quickly when the thought of "she got a treat" starts.
There are sometimes however when the dogs know that everyone got their designated allotment. Dinner time is one of these times. They all know that they are going to get dinner and (usually) wait patiently for their own bowl to be placed in front of them. Once their bowl is finished, they often exchange bowls to see if anyone left anything behind. But never once have I gotten the look "I didn't get my fair share." Another one of these instances is the bed time kiss routine. Every night before we go to bed, I kiss each kid on the top of the head. I'm not sure when this started, but it's been going on long enough to be part of that un-breakable bedtime routine. Each dog knows that they are going to get a kiss good night and will wait for their turn once I start. No one ever jumps up and pushes another out of the way. No one waits for an "extra" kiss either. Everyone gets one and everyone knows that.
So, the question is: why are somethings a matter of routine and some things become a matter of "fairness". Why haven't the dogs figured out that everyone gets ONE treat when they have figured out that everyone gets ONE bowl. Is there something that I could do as a trainer, handler, dog-mom could do to make it seem more "fair." I know that dog's brains are not as advanced as ours, but I do think that they are more advanced then many people give them credit for. If everyone has figured out that you get one bananna chip before bed, why can't they figure out that everyone gets ONE chewie? Why do they wander around trying to steal each other's? They are ALL THE SAME.
But maybe the dog's don't actually give me that look. Maybe it is just me trying to make everything seem fair. Maybe they don't want extra, maybe they just want more. . .
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Little Dogs
Sometimes it feels like I have a herd of chihuahuas - and sometimes I actually do have a herd! But I am not really a "small dog person". My dog before Mole was 110 lbs. My dog before that was 30 lbs. How I ended up with two dogs under 10 lbs still escapes me. How I ended up with Abby I will never know . . .
But despite my (mis)fortune of having small dogs, I have to say that I have become a much better trainer because of them. I have always had a knack for training the hard headed dogs because I knew how to be heavy handed without having it destroying our relationship or their psyche. But you can't do that with small dogs. Most small dogs start off fragile and a raised voice or a cross-eyed look can completely shatter them.
When you are training a small dog, you have to leave all of your own baggage at the gate. Your day's frustrations will travel down the leash and can severely impair a training session. You need to learn to have the right level of enthusiasm for praise without being too exuberant that you scare the dog. You also have to have a better relationship with your dog before you begin training. You have to have an unbreakable trust from your dog so that it will do what you ask despite the surroundings. You also need to have more voice control over your dog as a leash jerk could easily injure your friend. You also need to be more creative. Teaching a large dog to down on the floor is easy, but it can take many steps (and cushions) before a small dog will even consider it.
I learned something else about small dogs today too - MY small dog in particular: don't use a negative marker word in training. I have always yammered away at my dogs while training. I have many marker words - some "positive" and some "negative" or "no reward" markers. Today my trainer told me to stop using negative/no reward markers (NRM) with my dog. Even though my marker words have no other meaning then you did something wrong, she still thinks that it impedes training (in agility). Mole doesn't like to be "wrong" and becomes visibly stressed when I use that in training - I have never noticed this myself, but it was obvious when it was pointed out to me. When I used the NRM mole was less likely to do an object that he performed many times before. He was "afraid" of being wrong and instead reverted back to his "default" behavior, refusing to try anything else.
I found this to be very interesting and put it into context of learning something new myself. When I was learning how to knit socks, the people helping me didn't say "wrong" every time I dropped a stitch. I said "oops" to myself and sometimes got frustrated, but it never came from an outside source. And, if it had, I probably would have completely given up and gone back to blankets and scarves. It makes sense that a more "sensitive" dog would also get frustrated if he was "wrong" all the time in training. And there are a lot of "wrongs" which is why we are in training to begin with.
And so, I vow to try to become a better trainer and handler and dog-mom and be more position and no negative.
But despite my (mis)fortune of having small dogs, I have to say that I have become a much better trainer because of them. I have always had a knack for training the hard headed dogs because I knew how to be heavy handed without having it destroying our relationship or their psyche. But you can't do that with small dogs. Most small dogs start off fragile and a raised voice or a cross-eyed look can completely shatter them.
When you are training a small dog, you have to leave all of your own baggage at the gate. Your day's frustrations will travel down the leash and can severely impair a training session. You need to learn to have the right level of enthusiasm for praise without being too exuberant that you scare the dog. You also have to have a better relationship with your dog before you begin training. You have to have an unbreakable trust from your dog so that it will do what you ask despite the surroundings. You also need to have more voice control over your dog as a leash jerk could easily injure your friend. You also need to be more creative. Teaching a large dog to down on the floor is easy, but it can take many steps (and cushions) before a small dog will even consider it.
I learned something else about small dogs today too - MY small dog in particular: don't use a negative marker word in training. I have always yammered away at my dogs while training. I have many marker words - some "positive" and some "negative" or "no reward" markers. Today my trainer told me to stop using negative/no reward markers (NRM) with my dog. Even though my marker words have no other meaning then you did something wrong, she still thinks that it impedes training (in agility). Mole doesn't like to be "wrong" and becomes visibly stressed when I use that in training - I have never noticed this myself, but it was obvious when it was pointed out to me. When I used the NRM mole was less likely to do an object that he performed many times before. He was "afraid" of being wrong and instead reverted back to his "default" behavior, refusing to try anything else.
I found this to be very interesting and put it into context of learning something new myself. When I was learning how to knit socks, the people helping me didn't say "wrong" every time I dropped a stitch. I said "oops" to myself and sometimes got frustrated, but it never came from an outside source. And, if it had, I probably would have completely given up and gone back to blankets and scarves. It makes sense that a more "sensitive" dog would also get frustrated if he was "wrong" all the time in training. And there are a lot of "wrongs" which is why we are in training to begin with.
And so, I vow to try to become a better trainer and handler and dog-mom and be more position and no negative.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Doga
as in YOGA for your dog. . .who will then become a dogi
Since the kids started agility, they have all been sleeping better - or at least it seems like that to me. They never actually tell me that they got a bad night's sleep, but sometimes I think I can see it in their eyes. Abby has taken to sleeping at the dog bed on the end of the bed - at least until I turn out the lights. . .then she is back to being on top of me. Pocket is actually sleeping closer to Abby - not sure what that is about - maybe it's closer to me and Abby just happens to also be close to me??? And Mole . . .well. . .mole has taken to sleeping in funny positions.
Yes, that is his back foot up against his nose.
I know that dogs sleep in weird positions - Abby, with her dropped hips sleeps in some of the weirdest that I have ever seen. But Mole has always been more dignified. His head goes on the pillow and his bottom is on the bed. Unless of course he is curled around my head, in which case his entire body is on the pillow. But Mole has never slept with his foot in his face! Maybe it is all the activity? It loosened his joints and allowed him to enjoy some new sleeping positions? But I would think that all the running and jumping would tighten his little body. We aren't doing Doga for goodness sakes! (Tangent: I can't believe people actually do that! I actually found a class on ehow.com teaching you how to do it with your dog. Some people are seriously weird!)
Since the kids started agility, they have all been sleeping better - or at least it seems like that to me. They never actually tell me that they got a bad night's sleep, but sometimes I think I can see it in their eyes. Abby has taken to sleeping at the dog bed on the end of the bed - at least until I turn out the lights. . .then she is back to being on top of me. Pocket is actually sleeping closer to Abby - not sure what that is about - maybe it's closer to me and Abby just happens to also be close to me??? And Mole . . .well. . .mole has taken to sleeping in funny positions.
Yes, that is his back foot up against his nose.
I know that dogs sleep in weird positions - Abby, with her dropped hips sleeps in some of the weirdest that I have ever seen. But Mole has always been more dignified. His head goes on the pillow and his bottom is on the bed. Unless of course he is curled around my head, in which case his entire body is on the pillow. But Mole has never slept with his foot in his face! Maybe it is all the activity? It loosened his joints and allowed him to enjoy some new sleeping positions? But I would think that all the running and jumping would tighten his little body. We aren't doing Doga for goodness sakes! (Tangent: I can't believe people actually do that! I actually found a class on ehow.com teaching you how to do it with your dog. Some people are seriously weird!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)