What you looking at?

seriously, no pictures

What part of that didn't you understand?

I won't stand for this

Mom, please!!!!

all right, just one.











Mole gave me a bit of a scare last week; he couldn't seem to stand up or lay down without being in pain. Poor guy would yelp and fuss and whine. And while he is a chihuahua, there is nothing wimpy about this boy. He is as stoic as they come.

A trip to the vet and some new x-rays revealed a progression of his disease along with some more vertebrae being affected. Notice, the lack of collar? Well, the deterioration is now most severe in his neck, making a collar (and use of a leash) not a very good idea. My poor old man is getting old and it's showing in some pretty painful ways. We are going to try to keep him comfortable for as long as possible. My boy means everything to me and I can't imagine a world without him in it. He is truly my heart dog.

Poor Pocket

It's been a long time since I've posted. Partly due to the fact that nothing super interesting has been going on with us lately and partly due to the fact the my computer had been at a stand up desk for awhile and standing and typing a post after a long day of work was just too much sometimes.

Since the last time I posted, the dogs and I have been sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing. And I think that we are all the better for it. Last summer was crazy busy with classes and with sniper being around and I think that we all deserved a break. The kids really seemed to enjoy the quiet walks around the neighborhood and the "sleeping in" on our days off. I really enjoyed saving some money on gas and having afternoons/evenings free.

Things have been really crazy this past month and our lives have turned upside-down again. . .but now that it's over and we are getting settled again, I think that things will be even better than before. But getting back to "settled" can be a bit of a challenge and my dogs don't like change to begin with, so I think that we are going to have a few challenges in the next month or so.

The first challenge is getting our place set up in a way that is comfortable for the kids. We've already had one accident with poor pocket misjudging the spacing between two objects and falling in between while trying to jump the distance. Pocket came running holding up her back right leg and screaming like crazy. Luckily she didn't bite me while I tried to examine her! She had full range of motion in that leg and no obvious sore spots and no bones protruding. I figured it was just a sprain and gave her some pain meds and put her to bed. She woke up seeming normal today. She is using her leg most of the time, but still picks it up if she wants to run around. I'll give her some meds the next few days and she should be completely healed soon. Poor Pocket!

Officially Diagnosed!

I picked sniper up Sunday afternoon from the kennel and he immediately hopped into the car through the open window. At first I thought it was cute and that he really wanted to go home but once we got home it was obvious that something was wrong with him. The right side of his face looked "lopsided". I emailed the kennel thinking that maybe he got stung by a bee, and they confirmed that there were wasps near by. I gave him a benadryl and hoped that he would sleep it off.

This morning, it was obvious that something more was wrong. The entire right side of his face looks like it "fell off". He seriously looks like he has Bells Palsy. I took him into the vet and he immediately said "your dog has neurological issues" I wanted to say "Duh! he is a Malinois!" but I knew what he meant and was slightly glad to hear it wasn't just me imagining things. We checked everything over carefully just to make sure that it wasn't an inner ear problem or something else. We found nothing other than the obvious. The vet thinks that he probably ran his face into the kennel door or something. He said that it should take about a week or so to heal.

 

His ear is the only really obvious thing in this photo, but if you look closely, you can see his eye too. The drooping continues down his face and affects his lips too. He is acting completely normal other than the excessive drooling. He is having a hard time catching a ball and biting down for a game of tug, but he doesn't really seem bothered by any of it.

I hate to say this, but he looks absolutely adorable all droopy! It's hard to imagine that this makes him even more lovable than he already is! Finally his outside appearance matches his goofy personality!

What Wouldn't You Do For A Dog With A Face Like This?

 

This is a picture of sniper hanging in the new office. He loves the new office configuration because he can lay at my feet without getting yelled out for pulling out the computer wires. Poor boy just wants to be close to me. . .

I did something today for this dog that I thought I would never do. I grabbed a wasp with my bare fingers. It was 6:30 in the morning, and I hadn't had any coffee yet, so that might've had something to do with my poor judgement. . .but when your dog is jumping around frantically trying to bite himself, you do everything you can to make it better. And in this case, he was being stung repeatedly by a wasp - probably trying to protect it's hive from his giant nose! 

Our normal hiking trail is undergoing Trail Restoration; which means that many of the trees are getting cut back and the trail itself is being widened and the damage from the mountain bikes is getting fixed. Up till today, it seemed like a great idea. We've had more room to play on the trails because I can see farther ahead and the ground is flat, so there is no worry about sprained ankles. Sniper's favorite thing about all this work is the tractors at that trail head that he gets to pee on! But all this work has also damaged some of the homes of the creatures that live there. We haven't seen a squirrel, a rabbit, or a deer since it started. I'm sure they'll come back once it quiets down, but for now, they are no where to be seen. I can also assume that when they cut back the trees that some of the insects also had their homes destroyed. In this case, there was a wasps' nest broken on the side (didn't see it until after he was stung). I'm sure sniper just wanted to check it out, but that was a bad decision on his part. And wasps are the worst of the stinging creatures because they can sting repeatedly without loosing their stingers. I really had no choice but to grab it and squish it. . .luckily my brain is a bit foggy in the mornings otherwise I might've thought twice about grabbing it.

Because I'm such a weirdo about my dogs, I always have a pet first aid kit handy and I had plenty of benadryl on hand to give him. He seems to be going fine, and is resting comfortably. He has a few small lumps on his side and his leg, but they aren't getting any bigger and his face isn't swelling and his breathing is good. I'll keep an eye on him for awhile and might give him more benadryl later - if only to keep him calm so I can finally relax! 

It's Always Something Over Here

After my last post we had a full day of Abby refusing to eat.

Yep, you read that right, Abby refused to eat. She wouldn't eat her breakfast, and she didn't even try to steal pocket's. I tried every treat imaginable including hot dogs and cheese. She turned her nose up at all of it. I finally went to the store and bought some chicken and ground beef and made her favorite snacks. She ate that no problem. I fed that to her exclusively for three meals just to get her back on track and now her appetite is back to normal.

We were supposed to have class today, but I took sniper and left her home. She may have her appetite back, but her energy is still pretty low. After a solid two minutes of barking for dinner, she has completely conked back out. She isn't ready for a one hour class yet. I'm not complaining because I'm just glad that she made it through surgery safely, but I'll be much happier when i have my girl back with her funny personality quirks.

The Abby Drama Continues

The other day I was cuddling with Abby and I noticed that her breath smelled "different". Yeah, it's a little weird to notice that, but breath can you a lot about what is going on with your pet's health. And while I don't regularly stick my nose in my kid's mouths, do spend plenty of time getting kisses and cuddles to notice a change.

The first thing I did was look for more rotting teeth. Abby only has about 8 total teeth, and I figure that by the time she is 10, we will probably be down to 4; rotting teeth is a very common problem with this breed. But to my shock and horror, it wasn't her teeth - it was a tumor on her gums. Yep, this little dog has another growth; and unlike the rest, this one isn't going to be easy to remove.

I seriously thought about leaving it in for a while. I hate sedating her because of her seizures and her kidneys. But after thinking it over for a few days, I knew that I would have to remove it eventually - and it's going to be just as risky in 6 months as it is tomorrow. The only problem with waiting is that it might get bigger and eventually abscess. Not so fun.

We have an appointment with the vet on Wednesday to have it removed, so keep your paws crossed that she makes it through surgery and that the tumor can be removed with out much trauma to her gums.

Poor Abby

Something happened to Abby's ear. She came up to me at work today asking for some attention. I mindlessly petted her head and tugged on her ears. Her ears are a bit dry and scabby due to old/healed fly strikes, but today, I felt a giant scab. When I looked, I found this



I was horrified and appalled that something like this would be on my dog and I wouldn't notice it. I immediately started picking at the scab and trying to figure out what happened to her. After scrubbing and examining it I came to the conclusion that something (or some one) bit her. There is a very tiny hole on the underside of the ear that looks like it might be from a tooth. . .a TINY tooth. . . there is only one creature in the house that has teeth that tiny.



I'm lucky that Abby is so easy going and oblivious because if she wasn't I would have some major small dog fights on my hands. Pocket HATES Abby. Everything that Abby does annoys Pocket. And if I'm not watching, Pocket will growl, snarl, snap, and apparently bite Abby. In some ways I don't blame Pocket, Abby is almost 3 times her size, and Abby is goofy and bouncy and doesn't understand boundaries. It would be like us living in a house with a 15 foot tall toddler - not fun! But Pocket is still not allowed to behave like that! Biting your sister is just not allowed in this house! I guess I'm going to have to be more vigilant about watching their interactions. . .

Poor Abby. . .

Quality of Life

I think it's funny how reoccurring themes come up in our lives. . . or they may not be reoccurring, but come up all at once to teach us a particular lesson. Something that has come up for me recently is quality of life. It's a strange lesson to learn, but I've been faced with that notion repeatedly in the past few months.

First, Mole's back went out and I had to determine what was an appropriate level of exercise/fun. Then we had some very sick puppies come through and we had to decide if long-term high quality was worth the short-term low quality. Then I had a foster dog with sever medical issues. . . it was a constant question about what qualifies as quality? Then Abby's body started shutting down and I had to figure out the exercise/fun quotient for her. Then we had another sick puppy scenario. . . It's been almost constant recently.

Awhile ago, when mole was first diagnosed, we slowed down a bit, but I decided that his quality of life was more important and that we need to continue our normal hiking/exercise routine. Time wears on and he gets worse. I decide that he is too important to me and that I need more time and he stops going on hikes. Fast forward to when Abby was diagnosed and I have a completely different opinion - Abby still goes on hikes despite her issues.

It's funny how we can come to completely different solutions to the exact same problem. And it's not that I love Abby any less than mole - or that I value my time with mole more than I value my time with Abby. For Abby, I decided that she needed to have a high quality of life despite the obstacles that come our way because she had such a poor quality for such a long time. If, in the long run, it means that I have less time with her, then so be it. But I could not make that same decision for mole. I felt that even a lower quality mole life is way higher than a lot of dog's highest hoped for quality.

Just this week I was faced with an interesting decision - where to place my special needs foster puppy. The decision was a tough one. One of the people would cuddle him continuously and treat him like a precious little baby, and the other would let him romp and play and be a dog. Both clearly loved him and would care for his special needs, but which would be the best life for him? Where would he have the highest quality of life?

It was in making that decision that made me rethink my decision about mole. He LOVES to hike and play and be a dog. My keeping him confined kept him comfortable, but he sure wasn't as happy as he used to be. It showed in small ways, but it became more and more apparent. But making the decision to allow him this was tough. He hurts more often then not now, but we are able to manage the pain. But the fact that he does hurt makes it all the more difficult to allow him to do something that might make him hurt worse.

But seeing him age quicker and quicker makes me want to make the time he does have here with me as special and as fun as possible. Because of that, I have decided to take him hiking again. We aren't going to go as far as Abby and I go, and we are going to go on flatter trails, and we are going to go at his pace. . . but we are still going to go - at least once a week. We have already gone once, and seeing how happy he was made my resolve to continue to do this stronger. And he really didn't need any more pain meds than usual - at least not this time. I understand that might not always be the case, but how can you say no to this face

Ignorant Owners

No, this isn't a rant about how some ignorant owner wronged me or one of my dogs. This is about how sometimes I wish I was an ignorant owner. OK, not really, but sort of. . .

Sometimes I wish that I didn't have as much veterinary knowledge as I have. Aside from the time I would save cleaning ears, expressing anal glands, trimming nails, and looking at limping and lumps on friends pets; I would save my self a great deal of worry about my own pets.

My kids are getting old and I see all the symptoms - perhaps magnified because I know exactly what I'm looking for. While some people wake up one day and find that their 8 week old puppy is suddenly a 12 year old geriatric dog; I see all the small symptoms along the way. I notice that hesitating to get into and out of a car is a surefire sign of early arthritis. I see that "accident" as evidence of kidney disease or loss of bladder control. I see the slowing down on a walk as proof that we are having back problems.

While many owners would ignore these small symptoms - or not see them all together, I panic and rush my babies into the vet to figure out exactly what is going on. Because of my panic I learn things about my kids that other people might not know for years to come. And while I think that it often causes me unnecessary worry, I think that in some cases it prevents the problem from becoming irreversible. Learning Abby had kidney problems through a routine blood panel (after noticing more "accidents" ) I freaked out. Once I calmed down, I made a plan and with a slight change in diet, we remedied the problem. While I know that her kidneys aren't fixed, I know that we can manage the problem for longer than we would if I had just ignored it and let it get worse.

Recently, I have noticed that Mole's back isn't doing too well. . .again. Sure he is still getting around ok, but he is slightly off. I can see it when he walks and how he stretches and how he gets up from a nap. I know he is uncomfortable, but my stoic old man tries his best to hide it from me. We've tried muscle relaxants for a few days, but that hasn't seemed to help. We are going to try NSAIDs for a few days and hope that works. He isn't bad enough to put on steroids, but we might have to go back to the opiates.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't know as much as I did and then I wouldn't worry quite so much. But other times I'm thankful for my knowledge because I can pick and choose my medications more carefully rather than relying on a standard Rx from a vet. Then again, if I was an ignorant owner, I wouldn't know any better to begin with. . .

Depression Sets In

I'm officially depressed. I was sad about no more agility before, but now I am officially depressed about it. I am strongly tempted to crawl in bed for the next 5 years. And the more I go about my life, the more depressed I get.

I don't think that normal people really understand how devastating this is. I have tried to explain it to some (ie: imagine if you couldn't play video games, or if you couldn't take pictures) This is my way to disconnect from my job and from other suppressors in my life. This is a way for me to bond with my dog and to have a great time. I read books, follow blogs, talk to trainers about agility. This isn't just a sport that I do with my dog, this is a whole sub-set of my social structure!

A friend asked me earlier how Abby was doing and I said that she is fine! SHE has no idea that there is anything wrong. She enjoys agility, but she has a pretty great life otherwise so I doubt that she will be heart-broken over it. I imagine that if I took her to an agility field and didn't let her do anything that she would get frustrated, but I don't think that she thinks about it regularly.

I know that Abby and I still have a lot of things that we can do together, and I am looking forward to all of that. But there was so much more that we could have accomplished in this area and I am sad that we will never get the chance. And I am sad that this part of my life is over for the time being. And I can see why some of these people have so many dogs - when there is always a dog ready to compete, you never have to give it up.

Despite my depression over it, I am still glad that we tried it. So many people told me that I wouldn't be able to do with Abby any of the things that we have done so far. But we did. And we didn't do it with a perfectly bred, perfectly socialized dog. We spent the time and did the work and got past so many fears and we did what so many normal dogs before us have done - we did agility.

Chunk By Chunk

My grandfather said that a few years ago he started falling apart piece by piece. Now is he falling apart chunk by chunk.

So it seems with Abby.

Abby has been weird lately when it comes to agility. She was refusing her favorite obstacles and has been even slower than normal. Despite my belief that she was just being Abby, it turns out that there are some (more) things wrong with her. On top of her seizures, and her kidney issues, we now have heart murmur, arthritis, and degenerative disc disease to add to the list. I never believed that Abby would be a long-lived dog, but I didn't think that she would fall apart this young either.

When I first saw those X-rays a part of me was relieved. All this recent behavior is not mental. But once I made that realization, my heart sank. It isn't mental, it's physical. This won't get better. We can't train through this. This is permanent. We can no longer do agility.

I never thought that Abby would win titles, but I hoped that we would be able to train and trial and have a ton of fun for years before we retired. But we have to stop now. And it really depresses me. We have spent a whole year doing this. Countless hours training, countless $$ spent, countless hours driving. . . and we don't really have anything to show for it.

Ok, I know that's not entirely true. We learned a lot and Abby has a ton of confidence (a ton considering where she started) but right now I just want to be sad that we have to give up something that we both loved doing.