Adios Little Dude

I had to saw good bye to my little guy two days ago - it was as hard as I expected.

There were times during those 9 weeks that I flirted with the idea of keeping pap pap, but I never seriously considered it. He is way too much dog for my little family - and way too high energy for me. But we still managed to have a ton of fun together. He was worth all the time and energy and all the love that went into him. As the time drew closer for me to actually give him up I began to feel nauseated. How do you give up something that you put so much effort into? And when the applications came in I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was afraid that the right person wouldn't come along soon enough and I would be stuck with this adolescent mutt of a dog and then I really would keep him!

But sure enough, the perfect family came along for him. She met all the criteria I had set up - even the neurotic ones! And best of all, she had an older, larger female dog that would teach him the ropes and put him in his place. I cried the first time I got off the phone with her. I knew in my heart that this is where he was supposed to be. And after meeting her and her old lady dog it became even clearer - he would actually leave me. He will go on with this family and have a life of his own - separate from me. He will have a new mom - one that will teach him how to be a good boy - not just the crazy puppy that I raised and fell in love with.

When the day came to send him to his new home, I didn't want to stop playing with him. I cuddled and kissed him - and he let me. He had already been in the "put me down mom, I want to run and play" phase for 3 weeks, but that morning he let me hold him to my hearts content. I don't think he understood, I think he just liked chewing my hair!

I still think about him first thing in the morning -but he isn't crying to go potty. I can watch a movie at night with out keeping one hand busy with a tug toy. My kids seem a bit more settled with out his constant banging into things - I don't think that they ever loved him as much as I did. I miss him. I expect that I will continue to miss him through out the next few weeks - and possibly from time to time through the next few years. He was my baby - the closest thing I will ever have to one anyway.

Bye bye pap pap

be a good boy