Relationships are never 50/50

I learned a very valuable lesson last night at agility class: my relationship with Abby needs to be 100/100 - I have to give my all before she will give hers.

I've been giving Abby a good percentage of my energy, but it's been awhile since I gave her 100% of my energy in a class. Part of it comes from working a lot with mole first. That guy will continually give me 100% even if I only give him back 10%. In fact, mole does better when I keep my energy lower because it helps keep him out of his anxiety stage. The other part has to do with abby's accomplishments. As she started doing better I started expecting more. When I expected more I became frustrated when I didn't get from her what I know she could do. As I got frustrated Abby got stressed and worked less. It was a downward spiral that wasn't fun for either of us.

After reading that post from Susan Garrett I decided to try something different in class this week. I decided to reward Abby like everything she did was outstanding! And, in some ways, the fact that she did anything at all WAS outstanding! The funny this was that the more I rewarded her for, the better she did. And the better she did, the more I wanted to reward her. It became FUN again for both of us. Abby did better in this class than she has in weeks - despite thefact that it was windy and rainy in class - and Abby truly hates weather of any kind!

I really like working with this new dog and on my way home it dawned on me that this was the first time in a long time that I put 100% of myself into working with her. I pretended that it hasn't been a long week, and that I didn't get up at 6am, and that I didn't just spend 90 minutes in traffic trying to get to class on time. I put everything else aside and just focused on her and what she needed from me to make this relationship work. And while Abby wants to do well and get lots of cookies she still needs me to motivate her. She needs me to put in the energy and the effort that she gives back. In the end, you can't blame her for that - after all, it is a fair trade

" when I look at my dogs, all I see is greatness"

If you don't read Susan Garrett you probably don't do agility. . . but even if you don't do agility, and you just have pet dogs, you can still find a lot of useful information. One of her more recent posts really resonated with me and I had to ponder it for a bit before I was able to write about it.

One of Susan's dogs was labeled "Deak the Freak" by many of her instructors because of her lack of confidence. But rather than labeling her dog with a perceived limitation Susan took ownership of that issue and spent the time making her better. Susan said it better: I don’t focus on what isn’t there with my dogs, I focus on what is. I take up ownership of anything that can be made better and I spend that dog’s career trying to make it better.

She also talks about how our dog's poor behaviors can be isolated events. But that if we do not use that first event as a wake up call and make the change then ". . . this event becomes a pattern and if you accept this pattern as your reality it becomes part of your journey."

The whole post was wonderful (you really should read it), but the main point of the post was that she refused to become frustrated with her dog's limitations, and that, instead, she chose to work with her dog to become better. "I don’t focus on what isn’t there with my dogs. . ." ". . .when I look at my dogs I can only see greatness.”

As much as I work with Abby, I don't do it because I see greatness in her. . . I do it because I don't see greatness. I see all the limitations and I get very frustrated at times. I constantly underestimate her. I call her all sorts of silly names and I make all sorts of excuses for her perceived limitations. But the truth is that she is a great dog. That despite her previous limitations, she has exceeded my wildest dreams for her. Most of her current limitations are a result of my lack of effort. Seriously. I know that I have been working hard with this dog, but if I actually worked with her like I plan to work my next dog, this dog really would be great. And not just great for the Abby that arrive two years ago, but great for the dog that lives with me today. And I would be that much better of a trainer.

***Totally forgot to mention that Dave Mills took this awesome photo of Abby at our fun match two weeks ago! She was coming off the A-frame and you can see her tail!

You know you live in CA when. . .

. . .when you buy hotdogs as treats for your dog and the cows were raised on an environmentally sustained ranch with no antibiotics, no hormones, and were grass fed. . .

Another Great Class!

This has been a terrific weekend all around for Abby. Not only did she do well at the fun match, but she also did great in Rally class yesterday. She had a lot of focus and her heeling was TERRIFIC! We even did an exercise that I haven't been able to get her to complete in class before - the step/sit exercise. It consists of step - sit, step-step-sit, step-step-step-sit. It is actually one of the easier exercises, but Abby generally gets anxious when we aren't moving along, so we regularly skip that one. But she was doing so well in class that I thought we should try it. . .and we DID IT!!! I was super impressed with her when a dog broke into our class and she didn't freak out! She held her sit perfectly until I realized that the dog was not going to go easily and I thought it easiest to pick her up. And the best thing about it was that she continued to work after that!!!! I couldn't be more proud of her.

From time to time I think back about how far Abby has come, but given that it is her anniversary, it happens more lately. I was thinking about how she was last year was when I actually really started training her. I would visit my friend's house and we would work the basics of agility - and I mean VERY basic. It took forever before I could get her to go into a tunnel! Then we took our first obedience class and struggled through most of it. Then we progressed to agility class and finally to fun matches and agility trials! It's really amazing to see how far she has come so fast. She is not only doing so well, but she is having a great time doing it. Its fun looking back on the progress that we have made and the team that we have become. I really enjoy this little girl and I hope that she is around for many years to come!

Super Fun!

We had an awesome time yesterday at the fun match. Abby did great, and had fun. Mole got to eat a ton of cookies, so he had a great time. Pocket slept in. . .

I entered Abby in two standard runs and two jumpers runs. I am very glad that we got to do the standard runs first because that is the one that we usually run last and therefore lag through it. The first run was just ok (hi-def videos to come!) Abby kept trying to go see auntie marci and kept ignoring me! That's ok, it's Abby. . .we expect some level of that. The second run was PERFECT. And I don't mean Abby perfect - I mean PERFECT! If we were at a trial we would have Q'd (maybe not have placed, but def Q'd!) Unfortunately that one was not caught on video. . . had we had the video camera there, Abby probably would have been looking for auntie marci again!

Jumpers runs were second, and I was expecting them to be great since Abby loves jumpers. . .but it's Abby. . . The first run was terrible. Truly horrible in every way. The way the course was set up meant that we had to run alongside the other ring - that terrified Abby. She wouldn't do anything for me. I almost scratched her from her second run, but I decided to just go in and give her lots of cookies. I also started her off course. Once she got the idea that we weren't running near the other ring, and that she got lots and lots of cookies, she had a great time. Had we been set up outside, I think that she would have done really well both runs. We do have videos of the second jumpers run coming too!

Dave Mills - awesome photographer- was there again taking photos. He was set up in the standard ring, so I hope that he got some great photos of Abby running.

We all had a great time until I found TWO TICKS crawling on me on the car ride home! The first one I thought was an ant crawling on my neck until I grabbed it and it was TOO FAT to be an ant. The second one was crawling on my pant leg. When I got home I stripped in front of the mirror looking for more! I think that I tried to pull every mole and freckle off my body just to be sure! The kids were spared, thankfully!

Wordless Wednesday

2 Years Down

I don't generally think of my time with Abby starting until she came back from her adventure. But, the truth is that is started almost two months before that when I took her home as a foster dog. Even though she had all those fears, I never treated her any differently then I did my other dogs. She was expected from the very beginning to be able to get in the car, go for walks, go to the pet store, hang out with friends, etc. And it wasn't until she came back that I truly understood the depths of her issues. But by then it was too late - she was already a member of the family.

Looking back on those first few weeks, there were signs that she was going to be difficult to live with, but since she was just a foster, I wasn't too concerned. My job was to give her a warm place to stay and some love until she found her forever home. Unfortunately the rescue she was with and I had very different opinions about what would be an appropriate home for her. They were quite insistent that she would do fine with some guy she never met half way across the country. I put my foot down on that one - and on a few others. And boy am I glad I did! I couldn't imagine what someone would do with her the first 100 times that she peed in their bed!

After two full years of working with her, she still pees in the bed. . .but only sometimes. And everything that I have done to help her become a better dog has made me a better trainer. And it has opened up my world tremendously; allowing me opportunities that I never would have had with my other kids.

And, by the way, Abby did great yesterday in class. It was a new session with all new students and she did great. There were a few times when she didn't listen to me during class, but it was because she was interested in the other dogs! And how can you be mad about that?

Abby Day

Two years ago today. . .





my life changed forever